My Son Told Me to Work Less

So at the beginning of this year I tried something new. Now that my son is old enough to have more meaningful conversations, I asked him what he thinks I should do differently this year. Without even hesitating, he said "Stop working so much and spend time with your kids."

My jaw literally dropped.

Don't get me wrong, I don't live in lala land. I know that I work a lot. I struggle with it constantly, telling myself that I'm going to turn the computer off at a certain time and unplug…but then the kids go to their rooms and I end up right back in the office, laptop open, typing away. I mean, I thought that's what they wanted…they're doing their thing and I'm doing mine and everyone wins, right?

Wrong, apparently.

They're waiting, or at least my son is, for me to ask them to spend time together…play a game, watch a movie, build a lego set…They don't want to be left alone, they want to spend time with me.

So now what? Where do I cut back? How in the actual F*** do I organize my schedule in a way that makes room for everyone to get a piece of my time, still get all of my work done, and not go completely insane because a girl needs quality time with herself, too. I'm asking because I genuinely don't know the answer.

 Managing My Time

I have some ideas, and some things I'm trying out, but I couldn't tell you if they're actually working. The only thing I do know for sure is that I'm not going to adopt the mentality that every other entrepreneur/empire-builder would tell me to adopt right now.

I'm not going to push through it, expecting my 9-year old to understand that mami is just busy building a better life for everyone and he should just understand that and give me my space to work. I'm not going to ignore his very blunt and literal request for more of my time because while I do want to build an empire, I don't want to sit at the top of it alone.

I want my kids to be a PART of what I'm building, not something separate from it. I want them to experience my journey and see it as theirs, too. I want them to feel entitled to whatever success I have because we did it TOGETHER, not teach them to be grateful for the sacrifice of not having my attention. Society tells us that's the way it's supposed to be, that kids are supposed to just appreciate and understand their parents' sacrifices, but let me tell you…kids never get it.

“To them, regardless of the amount of money in the bank, the toys in their room, the cool shoes on their feet…they still just want to be with their parents. Nothing replaces that.”

I say this both as a mother and as a former child who wanted exactly what my son wants right now - more of my parents' time. And let me tell you, my parents MADE time for me and my brother.

We went on trips together, watched movies, played games. We spent our whole weekends together - Friday through Sunday was family time and on Sundays it was so special that no other people were allowed over. It was just the four of us and it was awesome. During the week was different because we were all off doing our own thing, but I thoroughly enjoyed my childhood…and even my adolescence. We were a very tight family and I want that with my kids too.

Of course, I also want a different life than my parents had. I want to work for myself, have a flexible schedule and still have more than enough money for bills and then some, so that means I can't do it like my parents did. I have to find a way that works for me.

Maybe I'm silly and naïve to want both - the empire AND the quality time, but I owe it to myself and my kids to try.