Change is Constant - Here’s How to Deal With It
You have to believe in something greater than what you can see. I'm not here to preach, tell you to get baptized, or insist that you go to a religious service once a week. Personally, I haven't set foot in a church since my close friend's youngest kid was baptized…and that child is now driving himself to school and work. I don't believe that God lives in the church, He lives wherever I am, and He's more than OK with me praying donde me de la gana (translation: wherever I want).
But I digress.
“Change is as much a part of life as breathing is.”
This here? This is not an opinion. This right here is a FACT. Whether we like it or not, we will constantly experience change, and often not by choice. Nobody wakes up and says "It's Tuesday, let me go blow up my life right quick." Sure, we will sometimes be our own catalyst for change - buying a house, getting a new job, drastically cutting our hair (been there, done that…don't recommend it) but more often we are victims of some external force.
(I use the word "victim" here for emphasis, but I don't mean it in the sense that something bad is happening. Change may feel uncomfortable, but it always ends up being for the greater good).
When I think about the most significant seasons of change in my life, they all happened because of something outside of me.
I got married and had to learn to be a partner, I had a baby and had to learn to put his needs before my own, my husband and I went through some rough years and I had to learn to be more dependable (ya girl refused to hold down a job for longer than a year and we can just say it ruffled his feathers a bit).
The most recent change was the departure of someone I thought to be a lifelong friend from my world. Don't worry, she didn't die. She's alive and well, we are just no longer friends. It was a HARD thing for me to accept. Honestly, I'm STILL dealing with it, and may be wondering about her and how she's doing for years down the road. (You don't just wipe away decades of love for someone, I don't care what anybody says).
As much as each of these instances has rocked my world and even caused me to have doubts, I eventually embraced them and accepted them as necessary steps to grow into the person I am meant to be.
"But how, Laura? How do you just accept major life shifts as necessary and keep going?"
Two things:
1- I have no other choice
2 - I lean on my faith.
You Actually Do Have Choices, But They’re Not Great
When something happens in your life that you don't like, you actually do have choices, but they're not great.
Choice number one- you accept it and move on
Choice number two- you fight it and become a Bitter Betty.
The option that is NOT available to you is to change your circumstances. They are what they are.
Now, I'll be honest and tell you that I used to go for Choice two constantly. I would fight, pout, get angry, be frustrated, and all of it was perpetual because my circumstances never changed. Once I learned to embrace changes as they come and started going with Choice One, life got so much easier and my inner peace is now the thing that's perpetual.
Don't get me wrong, each time a major change comes, it's hard. I still don't like it. I'll ugly-cry, question things, stay on the couch all day eating my feelings, but I know it's temporary. I'm going through the growing pains and getting to Acceptance has gotten faster. But that wouldn't be possible without that second thing I mentioned, my faith.
Like I said, I'm not here to preach, but I am here to insist that you find something to believe in beyond what you can see in front of you.
Warning: If faith talk makes you uncomfortable, this is where you’ll want to exit Stage Left.
I am convinced that God not only exists, but that He's up there directing my steps. Don't try to talk me into anything else, because this is solid. You can't come to me with logic, because it's NOT logical. I can't see Him, I can't actually speak to Him, but I know He's there because of what I've seen unfold in my life. After every change, I've always come out better, stronger, and more at peace. So when something else comes my way, as much as it sucks to go through it, I know what's waiting on the other side if I just keep going.
The only constant in life is change, so back when I only believed in the things I could see and touch, my world was chaos, and the ground I was standing on was forever shaky. But now, my ground is rock solid, even as changes unfold in front of me, because I know that I'm going to be OK no matter what.
Do you have to believe in God to feel this peaceful?
Nope! I know people who are 100% confident in themselves and their worth and they don't assign a name to this belief system, they just know it's true. This is just what I believe, and I'm here to encourage you to find your own thing to believe in - love, human kindness, the stars, whatever you want to call it - that's what will carry you through life's constant changes.
