Reflecting on 2019
2020 is just a few days away. It's extra special because it's not just the beginning of a new year, but the beginning of a new decade.
If you're like most people, the last few days before a new year are filled with reflection on the year that has passed, and goal-setting for the year that is come. This time, though, you're likely reflecting on the last 10 years of your life. (It still blows my mind that I'm able to think about the last 10 years of my life with actual memories...being 30 is really something!)
Ya know what else most people do? Look back on their lives with a focus on what hasn't happened, rather than on what has. For some reason, many of us get caught up in other people's timelines when thinking about what we've done with our lives, and we compare where we are to where social media, our friends, or society in general tell us we should be.
Do yourself a favor and don’t compare your life to anyone else’s.
Think back on the last ten years and see your accomplishments, the places you've visited, the people you've met, and the challenges that you have overcome. Before you start to tell yourself that none of what I just listed applies to you, allow me to give you some free, highly unsolicited advice: Nobody likes a Negative Nancy Pants (I work with kids, my insult game needs some work).
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and remembering only the things that you never got around to and relive your best memories for a little bit. No one's life is entirely crappy, so even if you have to do a little digging, find the things that you are most proud of from the last 10 years and take a moment to celebrate them.
I have been guilty of only seeing what I lack. By the time I turned 30, I was supposed to have my own, thriving business, have a body like JLO and hair down to my butt...but (see what I did there?) life had other plans for me. Instead of a thriving business, I teach elementary school, and my body is far from JLO-esque, but I am in the best shape of my life, I'm healthy, I have two beautiful kids, a husband who makes me laugh every day, and I've traveled all over the globe (with many trips still to come).
The only person who needs to be happy with the choices you’ve made is you.
Don't compare your journey to anyone else's, or let yourself be convinced that you've somehow lived wrong because you haven't reached certain milestones by a certain age. As long as you have been happy, then you have been (in the words of Cardi B) living your best life.
And if you look at the last 10 years and don't find anything worth re-living (which I am still going to insist is highly improbable) then decide on one thing that you're going to do differently to change it in this coming year.
Start that fitness plan, take that trip, write that book, or simply make it a point to wake up everyday feeling grateful, but please don't spend another year living any way that doesn't bring you joy.
I'll leave you with the thing that I am most proud of from the last decade, and specifically from this year: YOU are the person that you should love most in the world. Once I really believed that, deep in my soul, I started treating myself as such and I can honestly say that I have never felt such pure, lasting peace.
I wish you all an amazing end to 2019!
