Taking Care of Yourself Is Productive
“I'll sleep when I die."
That's what my husband says every time I get onto him about his daily "naps." They have to be called naps because the time he spends sleeping certainly doesn't count as a full night of rest. He's got too much to do to sleep, according to him. Oh, and he's not alone. SO many people I know don't get enough sleep, myself included sometimes. We have a tendency to leave for last, like it’s something we should do only after everything else is finished.
THAT is a mistake.
Resting is a priority, and should be treated as such. Pray, pay your bills, get your rest. Those are the non-negotiables, as they say. I'm not sure whose idea it was to adopt the mentality that self-care is a waste of time, because in fact it is the KEY to productivity.
Your body and your mind need to rest
The exact number of hours that the human body needs to be properly rested is still up for debate. Depending on who you ask, you might hear anywhere from 7-10 hours. Someone once told me that 8 hours is ideal but that we can survive on 6…I don’t know about y’all, but if I’m only sleeping 6 hours a night for enough nights in a row, I become a strange, monster-like version of myself.
As with most things, you have to figure out what works best for you. 7 is my magic number, so no matter what time I go to sleep, my alarm can’t go off any sooner than 7 hours later. I know what you’re thinking, but what if you go to bed late? Well, then I have to wake up later…or stop going to bed late. Simple as that.
All jokes aside, continuously neglecting the rest your body needs can lead to things like trouble concentrating, a weakened immune system, low sex drive and even weight gain (especially for us females). Getting enough sleep won’t solve all of your problems, but it will put you in the best position to work through them.
Sleep Isn’t The Only Way to Rest
In case it’s not clear at this point, you need sleep, but your body and your mind also need conscious hours of rest. Moments when you’re awake but you’re also relaxed do the same thing for your soul that getting enough sleep does for your body, helping you to feel rejuvenated and energized. You shouldn’t be working from the moment your eyes open to the moment that they shut again. Sure, you’ll have some days like that, but if they’re too frequent, you’re likely to be walking around in a zombie-like haze rather than being present and actually accomplishing anything.
There’s No One-Size-Fits-All-Approach
Self-care looks different for everybody. After all, it’s called self-care, so it’s meant to be unique to you. The things that make you happy may be torturous for me (I have a profound level of admiration and respect for people who find peace in cleaning…. if that’s you, you’re a saint). Do the things that make you happy, do them daily, and do them without even an ounce of guilt. It’s not a waste of time to take care of yourself, it’s an investment. Your self-care should be part of your to-do list and it should be at the very top, because if you aren’t taking care of yourself, how will you take care of everyone else? How will you do your job effectively, show up for your friends and family, write that book, or start that business if you aren’t prioritizing your physical and emotional well-being?
If you’re like me, you want to do it all. In fact, there’s so much that you want to do that when you add the things you need to do, it really does feel like there’s no time to waste with silly things like sleep and relaxation. But the fact is that even if you want to do it all, you can’t. You’re only one person, and you only have one life. It’s meant to be lived, enjoyed, and to do that, you have to treat yourself the way that you would treat the person you love most in the world.
Ok, but how?
I’m so glad you asked. If you’re new to the self-care game, the first step is identifying what counts as relaxation for you. Reading a good book with a cup of coffee, exercising, and painting my nails are at the top of my list. My husband’s idea of self-care is shooting around on the basketball court for hours, taking a long bath, and watching TV. It doesn’t matter what you choose as long as it’s something that gives you energy and clarity when you’re done.
Step number two: put it on your list. I can’t be more serious about this - schedule your self-care time, right down to the hours you’re going to sleep. Personally, I keep a planner where I map out the important things in my day by approximately what time I’ll get to them (yes, even on my days off…I’m weird). You don’t have to be that detailed, but you should know what time of day you’re going to spend focused on yourself, what time you’re going to bed and what time you’re waking up in the morning. The rest of your day should be scheduled around those times.
An Example: I wake up at 5 in the morning and spend the first hour and a half of my day focused on myself. My morning routine consists of drinking coffee, reading, journaling and exercising, and not always in that order (except for the coffee…nothing happens before coffee). The rest of my day is pretty jam-packed with me working, writing, mom-ing, and wife-ing, but I manage it well because I’ve already spent time focused on myself. The days that I don’t go through my morning routine? Those days when I wake up late, either because the alarm didn’t go off or because I turned it off when I meant to hit snooze, I’m not the same person. For me, the way that my day starts sets the tone for how the rest of it will go. And no matter how it goes, my bed time is 10pm. If I happen to stay awake longer, you’ll see me yawning heavily by 11 because my body is done.
Now that’s how I do it. I know plenty of people who prefer to work out in the afternoons, go for a walk after dinner, or have a glass of wine and read a book when their kids go to bed. It doesn’t matter what you do or when you do it, the point is to prioritize time to yourself and the best way to do that is to treat it like you would any other job - show up regularly and on time. Which brings me to the last step…
Be consistent. This will take some getting used to, especially if you’ve never made time for yourself before. It takes time to build any habit, but more so one that we’ve all been led to believe we “don’t have time for.” You can’t afford to neglect yourself because, eventually, you will break down, and everything and everyone who depends on you will feel the consequences. If I’m making it sound ominous, it’s because that thought really does scare me, and it’s what fuels my determination to make sure that I’m alright. I have a lot to do, and I have to do it.
